Originally written for the young men in my extended family who were dealing with huge life issues but later updated and added to for friends of my granddaughter who are young men who I just know will grow into men of integrity, self-control, kindness and success.
One day, God looked across the whole universe and decided there needed to be one of YOU. Not someone else, not someone sort of like you, but YOU, uniquely YOU, specifically you. Then God choose Grandparents who would have kids and then they would have kids and all of this was so that you could become who God wanted you to be.
The trouble is, not everyone is looking to see what God wants for their lives. You can overcome challenges and grow to be a man that other men respect if you start now.
You are important. You matter. Your life will make a difference.
I wish someone would have told me as a teenager how different life would be as an adult. It’s so easy to get overwhelmed as a teenager and think it is impossible to become the person you imagine yourself to be in your head or the person your parents or others want you to be, but hear me when I say this. Somehow, someway, IT ALWAYS works out. ALWAYS. I promise.
You are going to have an amazing life and you can start right now. I have listed some life skills below and if you learn one skill at a time and master it, over time you will be a strong confident and very successful man.
Booker T. Washington once said: “There are two ways of exerting one’s strength: one is pushing down, the other is pulling up.”. Be the PULLER UPPER. Pull up people, pull up projects, pull up success.
Greatness does not come from being strong, but by using strength in the right way; using strength in the right way means building others up and not tearing them down.
You have power over your mind. You do not have power over outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength. You can’t change the world or what happens but you CAN change how you handle it. Will you let the troubles of the world crush you? Or will you let them make you stronger by overcoming it?
Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.
The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
Below is a list of some of the things about life that help you become a man of honor and respect:
*Use your head and speak from your heart.
*Make time for your family. One of the greatest things on Earth is family. Know that family will always be there for you and you can always come to family for advice. Having a strong family unit is your best asset in all of life, don’t abuse that asset by pushing family away with bad behavior or meanness.
*Don’t play with other people’s feelings. Don’t make threats to other people. Treat others the way YOU want to be treated.
*Be kind to animals unless they are a threat to your life or someone else’s life. You can kill an animal for food without remorse, you can kill and animal if your life is threatned but you can’t kill them for the fun of it. Thats the law of nature and the sign of a man with a good heart.
*Be humble. This means don’t rub it in someone’s face when you win and don’t be hateful to them when they win. It means sharing the last cookie. It means choosing to say nothing when all you really wanna do is say I told you so”.
*There’s something to be learned from everyone you meet. Look for that thing, maybe it’s something you want to copy in your own life, maybe it is the thing that inspires greatness in you or maybe it’s a bad quality in them that you need to steer clear of in your own life…but rest assured, there is a lesson in all people.
*Stand up for the little guy. Don’t be a bully. Be the one who rescues the weak person from the bully.
*Be the person that others can trust.
*Stay away from drugs and alcohol. Drugs will take over your mind so you can’t think for yourself and alcohol will make you do stupid, embarrassing things. If you are ever tempted to do drugs, ask yourself if you are willing to trade everyone and everything in your life for it because that’s exactly what will happen, you’ll lose everything you own, friends and family will avoid you and your health will be so bad you may not even be able to walk, or worse, you could die. Your teeth will turn brown and fall out and your body will become mis-shaped. You will become addicted and unable to stop. Best thing is to never start. We all love you too much, don’t let that happen…don’t even try it once. No matter what your friends say, it’s not worth the risk.As a teenager, everyone is doing it…be better than everyone else. Rise above the weak. No one sets out to be addicted, addicts all start out simple thinking they got it all under control…until they dont.
*Do what you love and don’t hurt others in the process.
* Etiquette and Manners are important to girls and their parents. When you get a girlfriend be polite, treat her with respect. Most families consider this a deal breaker requirement. Ask your future wife’s father permission before you propose. If you are going to break up with her, do not do it in public, not the middle of a school day, not the middle of a work day, not the middle of a restaurant and not the week of a holiday or while on vacation. In fact, consider the best time for all matters of the heart both good and bad. THAT is what will make you stand out as the strongest among men.
*Table manners. Use them. Don’t eat your food like a wild hog, use your fork and spoon and napkin, don’t shout or argue at the table. You don’t have to like everything but at least try it, you never know when you will find a new favorite thing. True fact: Your taste for things changes over time.
*Tell the truth. ALWAYS tell the truth, even if it’s not what everyone wants to hear. Be nice about it, but be honest in the kindest way possible. Telling the truth doesn’t always mean you have to share every ugly detail. Its’ okay to leave out the parts that are hurtful if it fits the situation.
*Stand up for what you believe in. Not everyone will agree with you but state your case and be prepared to compromise when necessary for the greater good or be prepared to stand your ground without wavering if it is important.
*Always think twice before you hit “send”. You cant take back the thing you say, measure your words carefully. If you are sending an email or saying words someone may not want to hear, take a pause and make sure your words are what needs to be said and nothing more and nothing less. Relay your thoughts with kindness.
*Pain has a beginning, a middle, and an end. Remember this when you are hurt. Every darkness has a dawn. Every storm in the history of time has had a beginning and an end. Remember that.
*You’re not the center of the world. Don’t be selfish and don’t be late. Don’t take the last dinner roll or the last cookie. Don’t make people wait for you. Try to arrive early so you have time to say hello to everyone or help get things ready. Plan to stay and help clean up when possible but try not to be the last one to leave unless you are needed.
*Don’t be the loudest guy in the room or the quietest. You don’t need to call attention to yourself, let your good character speak for you. A good person is always the one that people seek out to befriend and hang with. Don’t sulk in a corner, its creepy and it will not help you foster good friendships if no one can get to know you for the goodness you have inside you.
*The best things in life aren’t always free, but they are definitely better when shared. Also, the best things in life, are not things..the best of life is the people you share life with. Remember that.
*1 Corinthians 16:13-14, “Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Let all that you do be done in love.”
*Be a good sport. Even the best athletes, the smartest students, and the cutest guys will all find themselves on the losing end of things eventually. Know what it means to handle wins and losses with humility and grace.
*Control your temper. Boys come by their combustive reputations honestly, their testosterone makes them more inclined to have anger issues. You are the boss of your anger and how you handle it will determine what kind of man you will become.
*Take responsibility for YOUR actions. Actions and choices have consequences. When you choose to act a certain way, you must think ahead about what those actions will bring. Then, be ready to take responsibility for whatever you do, good or bad.
*If you go looking for trouble, you will find it. If you go looking for goodness, you will find it.
*Learn how to help others. Help without being asked. Be on the lookout for those who might need your help.
*Computer porn is bad. Watching porn will give you a wrong idea of relationships and how they work and will put ideas into your head that will keep you from being able to have healthy relationships in your future. Porn causes men to have unrealistic expectations in relationships. Don’t be mad at your mom when she sets time limits on your screen time. Shes trying to help you become a good man. Porn is not from God so it is not for you either.
*Be your own man. Everyone wants to be liked, but don’t let temptation make you do something you know is not good for you. Just because the crowd is doing something crazy, doesn’t mean you have to. Walking away does not make you weak, it is a sign of strength.
*Trust your gut instinct. If it feels wrong, DON’T DO IT.
*Faith is the cornerstone of life. A strong faith in God will help you in life when things seem too hard or when things seem like theres no hope.
*To have a friend, you must BE A FRIEND. To be loved, you must be loveable.
*Dress like it matters what you are wearing. Brush your teeth, wear deodorant, put on a smile. Wear cologne when you want to, but don’t overdo it. People will judge you based on how you look and how you smell. Comb your hair. Look like you care about how you look. You are really handsome and people want to like you, don’t give them a reason not to. By the time you think you smell bad, 40 other people already got a whiff of you and were grossed out…so never let that happen. Don’t chew your fingernails, it is a gross habit. Don’t pick your nose, get a tissue and blow it somewhere where no one can see. Don’t wear dirty shoes to a nice event it makes you look ignorant and sloppy and disrespectful.
*Life isn’t always fair. Sometimes things are crap and theres nothing you can do about it. Trust me, there will be bad days but you have to hold on because sooner or later the good days will come back and you won’t want to miss them.
*Being able to ride a bike is a great life skill. It’s not only fun but there’s something about riding a bike that makes you feel free. It’s good exercise for your body and your mind when you are 8 and when you are 48! Plus, exercise increases the serotonin in your brain. Fun Fact: Serotonin is known as the “happy chemical”.
*It’s important to look at someone when they are talking to you. It’s shows them you are listening and that you care what they are saying and that you are thinking about how to respond. It also helps them understand when something they say does not make you happy. Put down your phone and pay attention and don’t interrupt. Many people will shut you out of their lives if they see you have a habit of interrupting others. Don’t interrupt people when they are talking. When you interrupt people they lose their train of thought and you miss out on important instructions, or kind words of affirmation or details that will help you…plus its rude.
*Being kind is a very important skill to learn. In a world that is becoming increasingly about self-gratification it’s important to show others kindness. Be nice to kids at school that don’t normally get that kind of treatment. Something as simple as saying, “Hello!” or “How are you doing?” can really make that person’s day and you will have gained a friend in doing it. Get up everyday and aim to say 10 mice things to 10 people.
*“Life’s most persistent and urgent question is: What are you doing for others?” (Martin Luther King) Serving others is a very important skill. When you serve other’s you will be able to find yourself and true happiness will be found. Serving doesn’t mean like being a waiter, it means if someone drops all their books on the ground, you help pick them up. It means if your mom is bringing in the groceries, you carry a few bags too.
*Be Thrifty, don’t waste money. It only takes $27.10 a day in miscellaneous spending to waste $10,000 a year. A lot of money can be saved by doing things yourself and being more self-reliant. It’s okay to splurge when you have money just be careful that you don’t splurge when you are broke…there WILL be both kinds of days in your life. We all have them. Try to save a little because unexpected expenses ALWAYS come up and plan ahead to contribute to Gods work.
*Plan your day. If you don’t set aside time to pray and shower and do homework or chores you’ll run out of time and miss something important. Doing this as a kid or a teenager is also good practice for when you have a job, a wife and kids.
*Learn to use the dish washer and the clothes washer and dryer. I know college kids who can’t even do this. Life skills are just as important as the things you learn in a book or at school or on the job.
*Avoid bad people. Once someone proves to you they are a bad person, put them out of your mind and out of your life. Don’t be afraid to tell a grown-up if they are being bad people; but do it respectfully. Then get away from them and do your best not to be like they are. As kids, we are all taught to respect our elders..but that only applies if they are respectable.
*Life is too serious, and people are getting increasingly offended by the littlest things. Life’s better when you’re laughing. Don’t get mad about the small stuff, brush it off and let it go. Save your enthusiasm for when it really matters.
*Go fishing. Ask someone to take you. Men learn a lot about patience and reward by fishing. Plus, it gives you quiet time to talk to God.
*Always leave a place cleaner than you found it. If you are at the beach or the park, pick up your own trash and any extra trash that might be there that someone forgot. God will appreciate you helping to keep the planet clean.
*Learn how to use a hammer. Be sure not to throw your hammer when it inevitably hits your finger, no one likes a tool thrower…and it’s not good for the tools either. Take any opportunity you can to learn how to use power tools. Being able to make or build something is a great confidence builder and a great life skill that will make you strong and smart…plus the woman will be so impressed when you build something with your own hands.
*When you leave a room, make sure you leave the room and the people in it better off than before you arrived. Leave them feeling happy they got to see you and not afraid of you or mad at you. Life is hard already, so it’s better to make friends than enemies.
*Learn how to tell direction and time using the stars and the sun.
*Learn how to get from point A to point B using a real map and not just GPS on your phone.
*Being able to make people laugh is one of the best feelings in the world. It can also be incredibly hard to get certain types of people to laugh. Being able to lighten up a room with laughter will really help you out in life. Learn a few jokes, tell them to people when there is an awkward silence or a tense situation…but don’t use humor inappropriately.
*Learn how to clean a fish and gut a deer. Survival skills are important in life not just for survival but for confidence and impressing girls.
*Learn to cook at least a few basic things and you’ll never go hungry.
*Gorilla glue is one of the greatest inventions of all time. If the dresser drawer breaks, glue it. If mom’s favorite vase breaks, glue it. Glue is good for a lot of things. You can even glue a quarter to the sidewalk just to see how many people try to pick it up and can’t. Use good judgement with glue, remember that once glue sets, you are stuck with whatever you glued together. Keep it away from your teeth and skin. Seriously, it’s a bad combination. Things break, glue is not just a useful tool but also a good analogy for life. When something is broke, at least try to fix it.
*Make a list of things you might want to do when you grow up, then find people who do that and watch how they act and what they do and see if that’s the kind of person you want to be.
*Be able to perform basic first aid is a great skill to learn. Remain calm in an emergency situation.
*Duck Tape can be used to temporarily fix things, but don’t count on it to be a permanent repair. In life, you will have many situations that call for out of the box thinking, a quick fix or temporary repair. Lern which is which and be ready to implement a plan of action when necessary.
*Learn to swim. Don’t get in over your head. If you sink, push off from the bottom to the surface and keep doing that till help arrives. Swimming is such great exercise and there are so many ways to have fun with swimming. If you don’t know how to swim then you won’t be able to go diving, snorkeling, scuba diving, white water rafting, water skiing, wakeboarding, surfing, kayaking, canoeing, and well of course, swimming! Swimming will open up the doors to a lot of hobbies for you and will give you chances to make friends.
*Play games. Board games, card games, sport games…some kind of game play will help you interact with others and make good rule following habits but don’t let online games take over your real life.
*Take care of the people in your life, one day, you might need them to help take care of you.
*Always be thinking about your own side hustle. Can you mow laws for money? Or rake leaves? You are never too young to be thinking about how to take care of yourself…and you are never too old to pick up a side hustle.
*Everyone has great ideas or great aspirations, but we lack the follow through. When you decide you want to do something be sure you see it through to the end.
*Make a list of things you love. Be thankful to God you have those things or people in your life.
*Don’t be afraid to speak to groups of people. Learning to talk to others is a great life skill you will use over and over in interviews and friendships and other life events. You will notice that as long as you are being nice to people they will want to hear what you think. It will give you the upper hand.
*Don’t make mean faces to people on the freeway, people are crazy out there, you never know when they might snap. Just smile. Smiling is proven to make your heart happy.
*Make healthy choices. Being in good shape and staying healthy will open up a lot of opportunities for you. You are never gonna want to hike up to Machu Pichhu if you don’t make healthy choices now. You might not love eating healthy but you’ll love it even less if you are out of shape and can’t do the things you love doing.
*Don’t be rude or snarky. Its not funny and it will not get you the kind of attention you want. It might make you lose a job or a connection with someone you care about.
*Don’t be a cheater. Don’t cheat in school, in games, in work or in life or relationships. Don’t cheat your friends or your family and when you are older and you are married don’t cheat on your spouse. Just don’t cheat at all, ever. Cheaters are ugly, mean and gross. DONT BE UGLY, MEAN or GROSS.
*Don’t spend money you don’t have. When you do get a job try to live on half your pay, then put some away for savings and give some to Gods work.
*Build something. Make a fort or a hideout out of cardboard or whatever wood you can find. Start small and one day the skills you learned making small projects will help you build something HUGE..like a house or even bigger a whole town! If you build a whole town, invite me, I wanna see it and I want to clap and cheer for the man you become.
*Never hire someone to do a job you can do yourself unless you are being charitable, or your own job keeps you too busy to do it.
*Be a gentleman and a treat a lady the way she should be treated. Practice on mom.
*You have a lot of great ideas. Don’t be afraid to share your ideas and bring them to life.
*Take your time, don’t rush. If you want to build a bridge, make a tiny one out of popsicle sticks first to see if your idea will work before you start trying to cross a river. This isn’t just about bridges, but a lot of things in life, try it out first before you invest in something huge that won’t work. Ask for advice, do your research and dont be afraid to make adjustments.
*Remember, you can never reach new horizons if you are always afraid to leave the shore. Sometimes you’ll have to take a chance in hopes it will work out.
*Be Creative—go make something. The more creative you are as a boy, the more creative you’ll be as a grown up…which means you’ll be able to think outside the box and come up with solutions to problems other people didn’t think of. It will make you the hero.
*Be respectful to police. Police risk their lives every day to help people like you and me. Always speak to them kindly and respectfully. You never know what they just went through. Sadly, with every class of people there are a few bad ones in the mix, keep an eye on the bad apples but don’t provoke them.
*There is no substitute for fresh air. Fresh air will improve your body function and clear your brain. After you’ve been sick always try to get outside and breathe in the air straight from nature.
*Watch for signs. Road signs, notes on your school paper, the smell in the air….life has a way of warning you. Smoke in the air is a sign of a nearby fire, a road sign that says bridge out ahead keeps you from having a wreck. A note from a teacher may contain good advice. Always be on the lookout for signs to help you along your way.
*Your word is your bond. Be sure when you tell someone you are going to do something that you actually do it. It is so hard to earn a good reputation and so easy to lose it.
*Giving a good firm handshake says a lot about a person’s fear, confidence, intention, and control. Having a lousy handshake can leave a bad first impression.
*YouTube is not just for funny prank videos or pimple popping videos. YouTube is an abundance of knowledge. You can educate yourself on almost any problem you encounter with YouTube. If you don’t know how to replace your bike chain or cook an egg you can figure it out on YouTube.
*Social Media can be a great way for connecting with friends and family. However, it can also be a debilitating addiction and source for online bullying. Learn the dangers of social media and remember that the things you post online will stay there. In the future employers will use your social media profiles to help them determine if they want to hire you or approve you for classes at a university.
*A Job Worth Doing Is Worth Doing Right. If you are going to take the time to do something then do it right the first time. It’s easier to do it right once than do it wrong and have to do it over.
*Manners and Etiquette are important. Always say please and thank you. Open doors for females, think about how your actions affect others and if there is a mean way and a nice way to do something..ALWAYS choose the nice way.
In the company of women and girls, always pull out their chair. Walk on the street side of the sidewalk. Open doors for them. Even if you are mad, never say hurtful things in the company of others. Very important, never tell your friends about your romantic moments with your girl. You never want them to be imagining her in that way. TRUST ME ON THAT.
*Before you take your first car out for a drive, make sure to read the manual and know how to change a tire and check the oil. If you are ever lucky enough to own a vehicle, a bike or a car, take care of it. Keep it clean. Treat it like you are happy to have it.
*Practice looking around you for possible dangers. Always look for the exits in a restaurant before you are seated in case you need to make a quick getaway. Take notice of strangers if they are following you so you can describe them later if you need to. Be watchful of broken stairs you or your sisters might fall on or icy patches on the ground that might be slippery. Take a mental note of people and whether you can trust them or not.
*Learn how to cook outdoors. It is not only a good survival skill but also fun and delicious.
*Listening is a great skill in life. Listen to what other people have to say and be able to take good advice. Another great activity is to sit in the outdoors and just listen. Sitting silently will bring the forest alive and help get your mind centered.
*Know the importance Of “No”. You need to know that it’s ok to disagree and say no to someone. Not only for peer pressure situations where you might be getting pressure to try something like drugs. But in adult life in your career or school. If someone has an idea or is going down a path you don’t agree with you need to be able to voice your disagreement with a good solution.
*Learn How To Tie A Proper Knot–Some must know knots are the square knot, double half hitch, clove hitch, taut line hitch, and the bowline knot. You will be shocked to know how useful this will be in life…and while you are at it, learn to tie a necktie.
*When you get older, learn to back up a trailer. A real man knows how to back up a trailer.
*Be neat and tidy and organized. If your life is in chaos, your mind will be in chaos.
*There is a right and wrong way to use a knife. A knife can be a weapon but you never want to use a knife as a weapon unless your life depends on it. A knife should be viewed as a tool. A knife when used as a tool can cut food for a meal or repair something or open something but never ever threaten someone with a knife unless you are prepared to be considered a threat. Using a knife as a weapon against the police or some scary person could get you seriously hurt or killed when they retaliate or try to defend themselves. Improper use of a knife makes you look weak and stupid.
*Just because something is broken doesn’t mean it is trash. Always try to fix something before you toss it. Google how to fix it or ask a friend to help. If it really is broken beyond repair, throw it away, dont hold onto junk and dont keep something that is unsafe to use. If you break something that belongs to someone else, replace it.
*How To Talk On The Phone: With people texting more and more talking on the phone is becoming something that is just not done as much anymore but it’s still important and will help you in life when you have to call for help or call about a bill or about college or just to inquire about a sick friend. Be polite, be kind, speak clearly, say please and thank you and let the other person have time to respond completely. You may need to argue a charge on your credit card or make a detailed report to the insurance company or some other very important matter. Be consistent, speak with authority, take charge, be firm…but be NICE.
*Learn how to relax. In the world of go, go, go being able to relax is extremely important. It’s okay if sometimes you just want to DO NOTHING. Both your mind and your body need time to chill out.
*Find a sport you like. Maybe running or baseball or soccer or football or basketball..but find one. Sports are a great way to make friends, learn how to be fair and also when life is tough sports give you something to do besides be sad or mad. Remember, happiness is up to you. You can be mad or sad or you can make a choice and go play ball with a friend.
* “Success is stumbling from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm” (Winston S. Churchill) A fear of failure holds many people back from their full potential. Being able to put that fear away and failing is what will make you successful. There’s no guarantee that you will succeed in life. However, one thing is certain if you never try at your dreams you will surely fail. Keep pushing, keep trying, and stay positive.
* Most of the time we are our own worst enemies. Look for things you are good at and remember what it took to help you be good at it. You spent time doing it, over and over and over. Use that same concept and become good at something new. The more things you are good at the more confidence you will have.
*Learn how to grow a garden. Eating food that you grew is extremely rewarding. Growing food is a life skill you’ll use many times between now and when you are old.
*Be Brave. Be brave not only for yourself but for others. Help out those that won’t stick up for themselves. Stand for the things you believe in even if you stand alone. People who stick up for others become hero’s.
*Be Courteous. Look for ways to be courteous each day. Make it a game, do three courteous things each day, then four, then five, etc. It could be as simple as letting someone go ahead of you in line at the store when they only have a couple items or giving a little kid a high five to boost their confidence.
*Never Give Up-If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Anyone can give up; it’s the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone would expect you to fall apart, that’s true strength.
*Real Men Don’t Need Instructions Is A Lie. Instructions are helpful and will help you put what ever you are working on together the right way. They will help to prevent holes in the wall, cursing, and tools being thrown. WE ALL NEED HELP SOMETIMES. Got girl trouble, ask Grandpa (or Moppy). Got car trouble, ask a mechanic. Get it?
*Build A Good Reputation. Having a good reputation in life is very important. It takes a long time to build a good reputation but once you convince the world you are a good guy, they will treat you like a good guy.
*Try New Things, don’t be afraid of new things.
*Be Spontaneous. Being stuck in a cookie cutter life is no fun. Do something you don’t normally do. Have an adventure, make up a new song, do something new and different. It’s good to plan your life but too much of a good thing can sometime backfire, be flexible and willing to go with the flow sometimes.
* Unplug the internet, smart phones, and social media every now and then. We are always so connected digitally that we forget to connect personally. Being able to put the phone down and get away from electronics is so therapeutic. Go outside and play ball, do a puzzle, read a book or hug your mom. Jump in the puddle and live your best life. Give your mind a rest from the screen and breathe in the world around you.
* Learn how to make a proper peanut butter & honey sandwich. Lots of peanut butter and you have to mix the honey with the peanut butter before you put it on the sandwich. Okay, maybe this isn’t some big giant important life lesson, but trust me, one day you’ll be making a sandwich and remembering this will make you smile. Life needs a little silliness here and there. Little moments make big memories.
*Most Of All, Have Fun. Having fun is one of the most important things in life. It’s important to work hard in life, but it’s equally important to take time out to enjoy life. Don’t skip work and don’t skip fun. They are both important.
*Life doesn’t dictate your attitude. But your attitude dictates how you’ll experience life. Changing your attitude will always be the shortest and most permanent route to changing your life. Attitude is a choice. When life feels impossible, or hard or scary, MAKE A CHOICE to handle it like a man. CHOOSE to say no when your head tries to tell you to do something you know isn’t nice. When you make the choice to do what is right and kind, you are choosing to be a good man.
*Love and forgive. The degree to which you are able to truly love as an expression of your character, not merely as a feeling, the more you will be willing to forgive. The more you are able to forgive, the more you will be free to love. They go hand-in-hand. If you want people to forgive you and love you even when you do something unkind or mean, then you also have to be the kind of person who will forgive when they do something unkind or mean. It’s a 2 way street.
*You won’t want to go through life tied to your own history, to the mistakes you’ve made, the former people you’ve associated with, the problems of the past. So don’t hold others to theirs. You have an amazing opportunity in life a lot of people don’t get. You have the chance to start over and be a strong and admirable man. Don’t waste this chance to grow yourself into a man other people admire. Don’t be the kind of man other people are afraid of. Fear is not respect. Respect is admiration and trust. There is a book titled “A Tale of 3 Kings” and every man should read it. Do you want to be the kind of king that David was?? A king that others wanted to succeed and would do anything to help make that happen?? or do you want to be a king like Saul who everyone feared and hated?
*Learn to laugh at your own mistakes, mishaps, imperfections and ego. Don’t let mistakes weigh you down and affect how you move on in life. WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES. Learn not to repeat mistakes and move on.
*Invest regularly in your own human capital, in the development of your ability and talents, in your knowledge and education. Learn something every day. Don’t rely just on what you learn at school. Learn on your own. Get excited about it. Read. Study. Challenge yourself. Develop. Improve. Readers are leaders.
*Control your thoughts. If you feel bad thoughts sneaking into your mind, squash them out by changing gears and doing something different, or saying a prayer or talking to someone you trust.
*Be loyal to your friends. Be deeply loyal to your family. Be fiercely loyal to truth. Do your best to never make an enemy, you never know when you’ll need someone to help you out of a jam or trouble. Friends are good, family is great and enemies are terrible.
*You are an amazing creation of a God who knows and loves you. You can rise to any height you’re willing to climb. You have the potential inside right now, as you are, for something so much more than most people settle for. So don’t settle. The greatest views in life are from on top the highest mountains. The highest mountains are those that are climbed the least often by the fewest people. Climb the highest mountains. Even if you don’t reach the summit, the view from halfway up is better than from the bottom of the mountain you never started climbing.
*Be sure people always come before things. If there is something you want, WORK FOR IT. No one in this life owes you anything but YOU.
*Happiness is the natural consequence of living your life right.
*The mind will absorb whatever you feed it; It will retain the filth as much as the noble. So fill it with those ideas, thoughts and images you would want to have reflected in the mirror of your life. Because over time, it will be.
*Readers are leaders. Leaders don’t just happen, they train hard to be the best at something, they read and study and become better at that one thing than everyone around them. Be a reader AND a leader.
*If you want to be the Captain, the CEO, the President or any other kind of leader, be the kind of man that people WANT to help succeed. Check out the example in the bible of 3 Kings, Solomon, Saul and David. Saul was evil and went around threatening everyone to do what he wanted. David was humble and kind and people followed him because they WANTED him to be their King. In the end Saul died a horrible death with no friends or family to love him and David lived to be an old man surrounded by people who loved him. Be like David.
*If you want to feel loved, be loveable.
*If you put God first, everything else will fit into the right place at the right time and in the right amount.
*The greatest battles you will ever wage will be on the battleground of your own soul. We are dual-natured. There are two wolves fighting for space in your heart. One is good and the other is evil. The one you feed is the one that wins.
*Make a list of the things that matter the most to you. Then plan your life so that what matters most gets the best of your time and energy.
*Think ahead, plan for your future. Seriously, write it down. Make a list of how to get there. Then follow the list.
*The easiest way to love what you do is to do what you love. The second easiest way isn’t too bad either. It’s to get really good at doing it.
*Never do in private what you wouldn’t want the public to find out about. And these days, they’re likely to find out. Someone will likely post it to social media by the end of the day.
*Don’t be a sucker and let someone tempt you into something stupid so they can video it. Dummies on social media often end up dead or humiliated. Be better than that.
*Live life like it was the only one you were going to get and like it mattered how you lived it.
*Character is a much more accurate voice exclaiming who you are than popularity, personality or status. So let your moral character speak so loudly no one can hear the gossip spoken about you by lesser minds.
*Do what matters most first. Then, if you run out of energy, time or means, you will at least have accomplished the things that matter most – which is more than most people will be able to say.
*Procrastination is the best way to make bad things worse and good things bad.
*Bottomless pits of need never make very reliable friends or spouses or parents. Look for a friend (then later a spouse) who will be the kind of person you can admire. Date with that in mind. You will never marry someone you don’t date, so don’t date someone you would never marry. Steer clear of people who are super needy or who complain too much. You’ll never be able to make them happy…and don’t be that person to others.
*You have a moral duty to discover the principles of happiness and work at applying them throughout your life. You will be a better spouse, a better parent, and closer friend a more neighborly neighbor, a kinder employer, and better employee and citizen for doing so.
*If you can’t sing, sing anyway. If you can’t dance, dance anyway. Life is too short to be concerned with what other people think of your song and say about your dance. Let loose, be silly sometimes. It’s good for the soul.
*Let patience be your first response. Just because someone asks you a question doesn’t mean they deserve an answer right away. It is perfectly okay to respond by saying: “I Need more time to think this over”.
*Let kindness be your first reply to every question. You will always get more bees with honey than vinegar. This means if you are trying to get someone to do something or side with you or help you..ASK NICELY, remain calm, be kind.
*Let courage be your default setting. Sometimes you have to be bold and ask for what you want. It might be asking a teacher for extra time for a project or a boss for a raise or a friend for a big favor or your mom for a special present…but in life you have to be courageous enough to ask…and courageous enough to let the person you ask have time to think about it.
*Let faith be your first inclination, no matter what trouble life brings you. Stop. Ask God to help you. Look for bible verses to help you. Pray, God will hear you and God will help you when you go to God with the right intention and your request is something that will make your life better and more God like.
*Be curious, don’t take everything for granted, Sometimes you have to inspect a thing from every angle before you can really understand it. If someone says well, so and so said this…don’t take their word for it, go ask so and so if they really said that. If it is a video and 10 people filmed it, ask to see all 10 videos, sometimes what seems clear from one person is entirely different to someone else. Be a detective but don’t lose your trust in people.
*Perseverance is a good thing to have. Don’t give up when things seem hard. Anything worth having is worth going after with determination.
*Gratitude and thankfulness will go a long way towards helping others want to do nice things for you.
*The bible says: “LOVE ONE ANOTHER” and treat others the way you want to be treated. If you don’t do anything else on this list then do just that one thing. TREAT OTHERS THE WAY YOU WANT TO BE TREATED.
*No matter what the problem is, the answer is in the bible.
*Remember that winning isn’t everything.
*Don’t be afraid to stick up for yourself, but don’t be a bully.
*Pray, pray every day. Pray when you are happy, sad, angry, confused, no matter what you are feeling or dealing with, talk to God about it.
*Showing emotion is not a sign of weakness. Don’t squash it down, find a trusted adult and talk about how you feel.
*Find a hobby or something you love to do, so when life feels crazy or stressful you have something to occupy your mind besides something sad. Go for a run, do an art project, call a family member..do SOMETHING but do not dwell on the negativity.
*You don’t always have to be physically strong to be the strongest man in the room. Sometimes it takes MORE strength to walk away than it does to engage.
*Hand pick your mom and/or wife/girlfriend flowers once in a while, it will mean a lot. Simple acts of kindness are often the most treasured gifts.
*A little confidence goes a long way. Even if you have to fake it. There is nothing more attractive to another person than confidence…but don’t let it turn into cockiness…because that’s too much and no one likes that.
*Always take your hat off when you enter someone’s home, and never, ever, wear a hat at the dinner table.
*When it comes to love, wait for the one you can’t live without. Look for red flags, don’t ignore them. Just because a girl is pretty or nice doesn’t mean they are the one for you. Don’t spend time with a girl you know isn’t right for you because after a while you will become attached and forget why they are not right for you and in the long run it will end terribly.
*Remember that trust is EARNED, and once it’s broken, it’s really hard to get it back.Dont break it in the first place.
*Never be afraid to ask for more time to make a decision. If you don’t know the answer to something, its okay to say “I don’t know” or “I need more time to think about it”. Never let someone rush you to make a decision you’ll regret.
*Everyone is your equal, regardless of their race, religion, size, shape, or sexual orientation. Treat them accordingly. If you have a bad feeling about someone, don’t be afraid to steer clear of them when possible. If not possible consider getting advice from someone you trust about how to deal with that person.
*Don’t spit in public. It’s disgusting.
*Never hit a woman or a child. EVER.
*If you love someone, tell them.
*Be nice to your mother, she is the only person on the planet who will love you no matter what.
*Don’t take yourself too seriously. Life is not perfect, crazy things happen. The thing that will make you a real winner is how you handle the unexpected and undesirable events of life.
*Learn how to compliment a woman. A simple: “You are nice” works on moms, girls, teachers, bosses…pretty much all females. “You are pretty”, “You are smart: “You are funny”…niceness in general will always work in your favor when you are sincere.
*Spend time with the people you love. You never know when they’ll be taken away from you or when you will need to count on them to help you out of a mess.
*Learn how to say, “I’m sorry”.
*Don’t let fear dictate your actions. If you are mad or angry, take a time out, walk away. Give yourself time to think about how you want to respond.
*Learn how to wink. Women love that. Just don’t be weird and creepy about it.
*Never kiss and tell. If a girl is nice enough to let you kiss her, keep it a secret. That is HER story to tell. A boy NEVER tells other boys about what happens or happened between himself and another girl. Don’t tell about those kinds of things with your sister either. Protect the girls, the ones you like and the ones you are related to.
*Believe in yourself. God created you for a purpose, live your life as if you are always trying to make God happy with what you do and say.
*No matter how young or old you are, if someone is expecting you at a certain time, then be there at that time. At the very least call if you will be late. Let someone know where you are so they don’t worry about you. Trust me, moms worry…a LOT. A WHOLE LOT. Even if you don’t plan to come home at the right time, text to say you are alive and safe. Don’t be late. It is a bad habit to start and a hard one to break. Always leave yourself enough time to arrive wherever you are going at least 10 min early. This will also give you time to talk to friends before the event starts or find your way to your seat or get snacks before the kick off..or to scan the room for the exits before it gets crowded.
*When you’re visiting someone in their home, never show up empty-handed. Take a gift or a cake or cookies or even a single flower, or a penny for their thoughts, but don’t show up with nothing until they feel as close as family.
*Don’t swear or cuss. It makes you look like you are poor and uneducated.
*If you burp in public, always say excuse me..dont say it louder than the burp was. If someone didn’t hear the burp, they don’t need to hear the “excuse me”.
* Where there’s a will, there’s a way.
*Always ask. They can only say no.
*You’re not marrying one; you’re marrying the whole family.
*Find the good in everybody.
*Don’t cry before you try.
*There are no stupid questions, only stupid answers.
*You can’t control what others do, only your own reactions.
*Two wrongs don’t make a right.
*Watch what you step in. If you see two people fighting, that doesn’t men you have to get involved. Choose your battles.
*Teamwork makes the dream work.
*Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.
*What we think, determines what happens to us, so if we want to change our lives, we need to stretch our minds.
*Fair? The fair is two weeks in the fall. Life is not fair. Accept that and move on.
*One man’s trash is another man’s treasure.
*The greatest day in your life is when you take total responsibility for your attitudes. That’s the day you truly grow up.
*True freedom is understanding that we have a choice in who and what we allow to have power over us.
*You’re only as old as you feel. I know a man worth 4.5 million dollars all because when he was 14 he started a lawn care business. I also know a man who struggled till he was 67 years old and suddenly became a millionaire. Don’t let age limit you.
*A rolling stone gathers no moss…meaning, don’t ever stop trying. Stay busy.
*Happiness is not by chance but by choice. Life happens and not everything in life brings happiness. You can choose to be happy in the middle of life’s challenges by focusing on the good.
*A rising tide lifts all boats. When the floods of life come, you can expect to be affected just like everyone else. The difference lies in what you do about it.
*Don’t judge a book by its cover. Sometimes blessings come in disguise and sometimes villains come disguised as friends.
*You’re braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. Don’t be afraid to trust your instinct.
*The early bird catches the worm. The guy who got there first, got the job. The man who showed up early got free doughnuts. The man who came to the dance won the girl’s heart. The first ones in line got to buy the last copy of that game you wanted. Never be late.
*Each day comes bearing its gifts. Untie the ribbon. Always be on the lookout for the good in everything.
*Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian. Life is not fair. Take what life gives you and make the best of it.
*Confession is good for the soul. Don’t bottle up your feelings they will spill out and make a mess. Whether you are confession something you did wrong or something that made you feel sad or mad, let it out if you need to. There’s nothing wrong with expressing yourself and letting go of past mistakes or resentments.
*You can’t make an omelet without breaking a few eggs. Life is messy, do it anyway.
*The grass is greener where you water it. In a garden and in life, you’ll get the best results when you give attention to the planting while you wait for the blooms.